Ironically, I had another conversation regarding gay marriage over the weekend with a family member. What amazed me was the fact that this person did not understand the importance of marriage between same-sex couples, especially when they cannot procreate and some states and employers refuse to recognize the union. I can only speak for myself in saying that the reason I chose marriage and still favor marriage for same-sex couples is that it has absolutely nothing to do with health insurance or the ability to procreate; benefits that heterosexual couples receive but highly take for granted. It was more about love, committment, and equality.

Many people get married for all the wrong reasons. Some take those vows because kids are involved, status, and/or health benefits. If I had a penny for every time someone said that they married their spouse so that they could have a family, I would be an extremely rich person. When in fact, this is certainly not the case for same-sex couples. Again, I can only speak for myself in saying that I married out of love and companionship. Having a life-partner to grow old and build a future with. Sure, this can be accomplished without signing that piece of paper. In fact, many are in successful relationships without getting married. However, that piece of paper signifies equality. Marriage equality.

So…who’s moving to DC? What does marriage mean to you?

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There was a scene where Griffin made an attempt to give Detective Benson, played by Mariska Hargitay, a kiss on the lips, but Benson moved away and clearly identified herself as a heterosexual woman. When watching it, the scene wasn’t such a big deal to me. Benson stepped away and avoided the kiss. But, I later learned that there was an on-screen kiss between the two, which was tossed. Below is the scene that was axed.

Despite the talk of this one particular scene, this episode really touched on a lot of topics involving the LGBT community; such as discrimination, same-sex domestic violence, rape, self-identity and acceptance. If you missed this episode, I highly encourage you all to check your local listings for a rerun.

Do you think the scene should have been aired? Would the scene influence society’s perception of lesbians?

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I can’t believe it has been a week since I’ve posted content. It has been an extremely busy week full of meetings and networking. Over time, I strongly believe that my hard work will definitely pay off. In fact, it has already began. Over the past 2 weeks, I’ve been working with the folks over at 10,000 Couples. If you’ve noticed, they were recently added as a LTWO sponsor to the left. I’m extremely happy and excited to be working with them as a Contributing Author, as well as their Webmaster.

10,000 Couples is a monthly-online magazine that is dedicated to celebrating, affirming, and strengthening the commitment of gay and lesbian couples. Considering that I have a Real Love section that profiles lesbian couples, 10,000 Couples offers resourceful information and content that impacts positive decision-making and feelings by and between gay and lesbian couples.  What encouraged me to reach out and work with them was that we shared a common interest and goal, which is to inspire and destroy the negative imagery that is used to diminish the LGBT community. In fact, my first article was on the racial tension and divide that exists in a community suffers from discrimination on a regular basis, and includes ways that we could work together in bridging the group.

There is so much in store for 10,000 Couples and LTWO. This is truly the beginning to amazing things. So, I encourage you all to stop on by and show them some love by subscribing and uploading your profile to be featured in their couples’ gallery.

For many members of today’s LGBT community, the primary topic of discussion is gay rights. You hear them yelling and screaming for equality for gays. Yet, what we don’t hear is all of us working together. Do we dare question how homosexuals and heterosexuals can work together to bring end to world hunger? Do we see teams of individuals, gay or straight, coming together to bring about an end to the sometimes irrational and biased health care system? No. We don’t.

We don’t see that there are homeless who need help: food, clothing, and shelter. We don’t comprehend that there are other individuals, all over the world, who need even just the basic right to live. Instead, we have become greedy and self-absorbed people who demand equality for our own. There’s and interconnectedness that we push aside and avoid at all costs. The notion is “if it ain’t about me, then I don’t care”. Well, you need to care.

Too often the LGBT community gets upset because they are labeled incorrectly. Many times the community is seen as a population of freaks, politically and sexually motivated people when really, we all have our own uniqueness. We get stuck in this mentality that we have to live up to what society creates of us. We lose sight of the true meaning behind the world community. For a community to exist, there needs to be peace and everyone must have their basic needs met. If this does not exist, then the community comes together to make right the wrong with their brethren. Yet, we’re stuck. Holding on to the notion that it’s all about gay rights and equality and all the while we are forgetting about the community as a whole.

Let us join together and put aside the labels of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or whatever name you call yourself, and learn to work together for the common good of the population as a whole, not just a particular sector.

Do you not see that if we fight for the good of all that we will ALL reap the rewards?

“I am not a racist. I am against every form of racism and segregation, every form of discrimination. I believe in human beings, and that all human beings should be respected as such, regardless of their color.”

– Malcolm X

Yesterday, while looking through the timelines of the people I follow on Twitter, it was Russell Simmons (@UncleRUSH) who reminded me that yesterday marked the 45th anniversary of the death/assassination of Malcolm X. No wonder the movie was airing on BET the night before! I watched a little bit of it on Saturday before I went out with a few friends, and it got me thinking.

It amazes me how much people recognize Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., but fail to give the same respect and recognition to Malcolm X. The reason this bothered me was because both men were fighting for the same cause…freedom and equality. What disturbed me even more was that, even though Malcolm X had a way with words in how he spoke of the white people, it was those who shared the same race as he who assassinated him.

I continued to think about this for a moment, which led into a full length discussion with my mom, with whom I was spending some of the day with. I talked about one scene in particular from the movie where he had gone on a pilgrimage in Mecca and immediately saw the brotherhood between people of all hues who shared the faith. There was no segregation or discrimination. In fact, they all prayed and worshipped together, and even drank from the same cup. It was then that Malcolm X came back a different person who wanted to work WITH everyone, not against, and wanted to stress the importance of black people learning how to work together before they began to focus on working with others.

As I’ve previously mentioned on Facebook, I’ve noticed that I’m more drawn to those who follow their own path and are shined from the media and society, such as Kanye West and Michael Jackson. Yesterday, I noticed that I was becoming even more drawn to Malcolm X. Even though I don’t condone violence, self-idolization, and some of their lifestyle choices, I was intrigued by their strength to go against the grain for what they believed was right.

I chose to share a couple of Malcolm X’s quotes regarding racism because it was perfect timing, given my experiences and social settings over the weekend. I mixed and mingled with people of all ages, backgrounds, and races at Between The Lines’ Mardi Gras party on Friday, I even met Dr. John Corvino who I was slightly intimidated by (this rarely happens). On Saturday, I met with a friend of mine from middle school at a bar that was predominately white. Both environments were extremely diverse in a sense that I did not stand; I was welcomed. Then today I had a Skype meeting with Lauren Michelle Kinsey from Earth Nourished Women who is clearly the polar opposite of me on the outside, but on the inside, we connect so well.

I’m always speaking on diversity and being open to learning more or befriending someone from a different background or culture because it opens the mind for opportunities that many may have thought never existed. I feel that in order to truly experience the success that we all desire, we must open our minds and our hearts. Yes, there has been tremendous progress over the past 45 years; however, I still feel that there is work that still needs to be done.

I tend to call myself “Diversity’s Finest” not because it sounds good, but because it is the truth. Let’s continue to make progress in our society with big open arms, open hearts, and open minds.

“I am not a racist…. In the past I permitted myself to be used…to make sweeping indictments of all white people, the entire white race and these generalizations have caused injuries to some whites who perhaps did not deserve to be hurt. Because of the spiritual enlightenment which I was blessed to receive as a result of my recent pilgrimage to the Holy city of Mecca, I no longer subscribe to sweeping indictments of any one race. I am now striving to live the life of a true…Muslim. I must repeat that I am not a racist nor do I subscribe to the tenants of racism. I can state in all sincerity that I wish nothing but freedom, justice and equality, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all people.”

– Malcolm X

How diverse are you? What attempts have you made recently to expand your multicultural network?

Yes, you read the title correctly. The Federal Reserve expects unemployment will stay high for the next two years. It is said to be due to recession-scarred Americans remaining cautious, making for a moderate-paced economic recovery. I say it is because there aren’t a lot of jobs out there, especially when a lot of businesses are either closing or laying off majority of their staff.

The Fed also stated that the unemployment rate could hover between 9.5% and 9.7 percent, and then drop to between 8.2% and 8.5%. By 2012, the jobless rate will decrease again to around 6.6%. This may be possible, but I wonder how this will happen when the economy is basically one big giant circle or loop. Businesses need people to spend money so that they can make money and create more jobs. However, people do not have the money to spend to even think about supplementing the environment!

I remember a couple years ago when the government attempted to save the economy by issuing stimulus funds to tax payers. I received my stimulus check, but I sure didn’t supplement the economy with it by going out on a shopping spree. I paid off a few bills that were a couple months behind. In my personal opinion, I think they need to do a lot more than passing out $300-$800 to taxpayers, hoping that they go out and splurge.

Fed policymakers also stated that it would take some time for the economy and the job market to get back to normal. They didn’t say how long it would be, but have previously said it could take 5-6 years. What startled me was that a “sizable minority” thinks that it could take a lot more than those 5-6 years for everything to be back to normal. I must agree with those “sizable minorities” because as we all know, being a lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered woman isn’t ranked as highly as we’d like.

In a heterosexual male dominated world, 5 years to normalcy doesn’t sound so realistic. As a result, I’ve seen many become overnight entrepreneurs so that they have complete control over their financial success, while others are remaining complacent, waiting for the waves to settle. For me, I can’t sit too long; my butt becomes numb. I have to do something. Whether it is applying for every marketing job I see that I know I could perform, getting out and socializing/networking, or promote myself and my own services hoping that one day I can say “goodbye” to the “employee” role. Either way, I must do something. Not for the sake of my bank account and lifestyle, but for the sake of my sanity. Michigan is ranked as one of the top states for the highest unemployment rate. EVERYONE is looking for a job, from all educational backgrounds and professional experiences. It certainly takes a strong-minded and determined individual to make it. Like they say in NY, if you can make it here in MI during this economic hardship, you can make it anywhere.

Are you unemployed? How has the current state of the economy affect you? As a LGBT member, do you think the Fed’s forecast is accurate?

SOUND OFF!

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Tool Academy is back for another season. And this time, they are going co-ed! The Tool Academy is a program/reality show on Vh1 that is designed to transform the worst boyfriend, into a knight in shining armor. This season is the first where females are enrolled and are just as “toolish” as their male counterparts. These tools lie, cheat, and treat their partners like doormats; which is something I like to call “mental abuse”.

We’re not big fans of reality shows, but I do keep an eye on them just to stay abreast of society changes. My concern was the fact that there was a lesbian couple on the show. This can easily be seen as a way to expose people to the lesbian lifestyle – if there is such a thing – and show that homosexual relationships are no different than heterosexual relationships. However, my gut is telling me that even though many are involved in abusive heterosexual relationships, the homosexual couple will be outcasted as being a problem, when really, the problem is not the gender, but incompatibility.

What do you think? Is a reality show that is meant to be entertaining the answer to mental abuse for any kind of relationship?

Are serious issues concerning individuals starting to become a really big joke?

Or the fact that they are on the show to get help for their abusive ways is an underlying message that if you’re the abuser or the abused, get help?

Sound off!

It was a bright and sunny day when my wife and I married 2.5 years ago. Like other homosexual couples in Michigan, we chose to get papers on one another by jumping across the water to Windsor, ON Canada. We had an extremely small ceremony outside on the waterfront underneath a park gazebo. The area was gorgeous, and extremely quiet and peaceful. Those in attendance were my mother and her friend, and a high school buddy of mine. Many people have ceremonies for the show; having that one special day where you’re the center of attention. That was definitely not the case for us.

IT’S NOT THE SIZE THAT COUNTS

Because our ceremony was so small, and the point of getting married in a country where that union would not be honored in our homeland, many asked “Why get married at all?” For us, it wasn’t about making a political statement or participating in any form of activism. We were, and continue to be a couple that is very much in love and wanted to signify our love and relationship by making that kind of commitment.

THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION

It’s amazing how much media attention gay marriage has been receiving lately. Some may feel that it is a sign of progression, whereas some feel that there are more pressing issues at hand that we should be focusing on; such as the war, crime and unemployment rates, natural disasters, education, the environment, etc. In fact, I believe that not one issue should receive more attention over another. Unfortunately, our society does not behave as such. People are more prone to take a stance and become activists for movements that are affecting them directly; when in fact, all issues and political or societal issues affect us all.

IS “GAY” REALLY THE NEW “BLACK”?

Last year, the comparison between the black civil rights movement and gay rights were heavily investigated and received tons of national news coverage. There were groups of individuals who believed that the LGBT community was fighting the same fight that black people have been facing for a long time. On the other hand, there are those who believe that the treatment that gay people receive cannot be compared to those who are black simply because their sexual orientation is not as easily identifiable as one’s race.

Being a gay person of color, I’ve experienced both sexual-orientation and racial discrimination in all aspects of my life. However, I personally do not feel that one is greater than the other. With that being said, gay marriage may not be a big deal to some, but it is a big deal to many. It’s not about the color of one’s skin, who a person decides to share their bed with, or the sex of the person they wish to marry. It is about equality and receiving fair treatment. Should someone receive a promotion and a raise simply because of the color of their skin, despite their lack of ability, qualifications and performance? Luckily, there are laws in place to prevent such action. Should I not receive the joy and happiness of sharing my life with someone because we share the same anatomy?

GAY MARRIAGE IS REALLY NOT A BIG DEAL

Gay marriage in itself is not a big deal. What makes it a big deal is the fact that we continue to be a society that discriminates against anyone who is not a part of the majority or what society has deemed to be “normal”. I’m married and in love. I wear my ring with pride. Getting married in Canada was not a big deal, nor was it as difficult as many may think. The love between the two of us and every couple is what matters. My vote is for equality, all across the board.

Why does gay marriage matter or does not matter to you?

As the Publisher/Editor for an online LGBT magazine, Delena Wilkerson has no boundaries and believes in living authentically; however, life has not always been this way. For 30 years, Delena lived her life in the closet, which affected her professional life in many ways. As a successful Executive Director of a nonprofit organization for 20 years, her connections and networking opportunities were always muted, and consequently limited in their effectiveness. Now, her situation has made a complete 180 degree turn. With an AM in Social Service Administration from the University of Chicago, and a BA in Social Work from Livingston College, Delena has transformed from being a closeted adult, to a Leader within the LGBT community who encourages everyone to be genuine and to live truthfully.

Robin Roberts sat down with Mrs. Michelle Obama to discuss the President’s first year and our country’s constant struggle. As you all may know, we do not focus on the political debates too much around here, but this video was definitely something I wanted to share. Not because of the struggle that citizens are facing, the unemployment rate, or other’s personal political opinion on President Obama. I wanted to share this video with you because of the message that can easily be overlooked due to one’s political or personal opinion towards the Obama Administration.

“Change ain’t easy. And it doesn’t happen overnight. And it certainly doesn’t happen in a year. With that comes faith, consistency, and persistance. Preseverance. All of that tough stuff. And we have that in this country.”

Many want change, even if they don’t realize it. However, they are too impatient to work towards change. I use to be this way with a lot of things. In fact, I blame my own personal weaknesses and lack of consistency and preseverance to a lot of aspects within my life. There are a lot of things that I want to accomplish and have failed because I wanted things to happen overnight. Rather than speeding up the process, the process was severely delayed. Sure, we may have all of these “tough” qualities in our country, but I challenge each individual to ask if they have those qualities within themselves.

As Mrs. President stated, “change ain’t easy”, and as I stated yesterday in my video blog, in order to achieve the level of success one desires, they must change by stepping outside of their comfort zone. If no one else have faith in us, then we must have faith within ourselves in order to succeed. I never thought I would attend college, not to mention earning a MBA. I had faith in myself that anything was possible if I continued to believe in myself.

Another aspect of this video I loved was her list of leadership qualities that she stated Mr. President had, which resulted in him having, in her opinion, a phenomonal year. Those qualities consisted of the following:

• Staying on course
• Looking critics in the eye
• Coming up with clear solutions

Let’s briefly examine each quality and see how they can be applied to our own lives.

STAYING ON COURSE

We all know what the President has on his plate. I mean, the man is running an entire country for God’s sake. It is imperative for him to stay on course, rather than changing his agenda every time someone comes at him with an opposing position. In our own personal lives, there will always be someone who has their own agenda for OUR lives. Your parents may want you to become a nurse or an accountant, whereas you may want to become an entrepreneur. Your friends may want you to go out with them for drinks on the weekend, whereas you may want to stop by the gym and get in a good workout that evening. Here’s a good one; family and friends want you to settle down with someone of the opposite sex and pop out a ton of babies, whereas you’re happy in your relationship with someone of the same sex and would rather wait to have children. In order to be a leader, you must stand your ground, despite what others may think.

LOOKING CRITICS IN THE EYE

Those people who have suggestions on how YOU should live YOUR life, they are your critics. Rather than giving in to them, or looking away, look them straight in the eye at all times. Maintaining strong eye contact shows that you’re confident and are standing strong in your position. By looking your critics in the eye, you’re telling them that you are in charge.

COMING UP WITH CLEAR SOLUTIONS

Are you one of those people who complain all the time but never offer any solutions? If so, then we’re going to work on those together. Not only are you staying on course and looking your critics in the eye, you must always come up with clear solutions. That way, you will not be seen as someone who complains all the time, but rather a person who cares and is willing to assist in solving the problem as oppose to adding to it.

With that, she stated that the President wakes up serious, focused, and committed to pushing things through. How many times have you awaken serious, focused, and committed to your task, as oppose to waking up dreading the commute to work in the snow, or complaining about the knuckleheads you may encounter throughout your work day? As of this year, I have been waking up this way every day (give or take a day or two…I’m human). There are days I dread going to the gym, there are days where I crave Ben & Jerry’s and some pizza. But I decided to remain focused on my goal and I’ve been committed to pushing through. Every morning, I wake up focused on LTWO; checking my emails, checking my social networks, reading some good online content, and then writing my own. I’m focused on staying on course. And if I run into any critics, which I have both online and offline, I look them straight in the eye. Any problems I face, I may complain for about 1 minute, but then a light bulb goes off and there goes a clear solution.

As stated, change is definitely not easy. But over time, you will see that the “tough” stuff was worth it.

What are you doing or have done to become a Leader?