Who’s Going to the Chapel in DC???

A new day has come to Washington, DC. On Wednesday, March 3rd, DC started accepting marriage licenses for same-sex couples. By the end of the day, 151 couples had filed to be married. Some even brought their children or spoke of their importance of their change in status. One couple who stood out from the crowd was Angelisa Young and Sinjoyla Townsend, who became the first same-sex couple to apply to be married in the District. Ironically, they met 13 years ago in a Constitutional Law class at the University of the District of Columbia.

Ironically, I had another conversation regarding gay marriage over the weekend with a family member. What amazed me was the fact that this person did not understand the importance of marriage between same-sex couples, especially when they cannot procreate and some states and employers refuse to recognize the union. I can only speak for myself in saying that the reason I chose marriage and still favor marriage for same-sex couples is that it has absolutely nothing to do with health insurance or the ability to procreate; benefits that heterosexual couples receive but highly take for granted. It was more about love, committment, and equality.

Many people get married for all the wrong reasons. Some take those vows because kids are involved, status, and/or health benefits. If I had a penny for every time someone said that they married their spouse so that they could have a family, I would be an extremely rich person. When in fact, this is certainly not the case for same-sex couples. Again, I can only speak for myself in saying that I married out of love and companionship. Having a life-partner to grow old and build a future with. Sure, this can be accomplished without signing that piece of paper. In fact, many are in successful relationships without getting married. However, that piece of paper signifies equality. Marriage equality.

So…who’s moving to DC? What does marriage mean to you?

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Fighting for the Good of All

For many members of today’s LGBT community, the primary topic of discussion is gay rights. You hear them yelling and screaming for equality for gays. Yet, what we don’t hear is all of us working together. Do we dare question how homosexuals and heterosexuals can work together to bring end to world hunger? Do we see teams of individuals, gay or straight, coming together to bring about an end to the sometimes irrational and biased health care system? No. We don’t.

We don’t see that there are homeless who need help: food, clothing, and shelter. We don’t comprehend that there are other individuals, all over the world, who need even just the basic right to live. Instead, we have become greedy and self-absorbed people who demand equality for our own. There’s and interconnectedness that we push aside and avoid at all costs. The notion is “if it ain’t about me, then I don’t care”. Well, you need to care.

Too often the LGBT community gets upset because they are labeled incorrectly. Many times the community is seen as a population of freaks, politically and sexually motivated people when really, we all have our own uniqueness. We get stuck in this mentality that we have to live up to what society creates of us. We lose sight of the true meaning behind the world community. For a community to exist, there needs to be peace and everyone must have their basic needs met. If this does not exist, then the community comes together to make right the wrong with their brethren. Yet, we’re stuck. Holding on to the notion that it’s all about gay rights and equality and all the while we are forgetting about the community as a whole.

Let us join together and put aside the labels of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or whatever name you call yourself, and learn to work together for the common good of the population as a whole, not just a particular sector.

Do you not see that if we fight for the good of all that we will ALL reap the rewards?

Gay Marriage. What’s The Big Deal?

It was a bright and sunny day when my wife and I married 2.5 years ago. Like other homosexual couples in Michigan, we chose to get papers on one another by jumping across the water to Windsor, ON Canada. We had an extremely small ceremony outside on the waterfront underneath a park gazebo. The area was gorgeous, and extremely quiet and peaceful. Those in attendance were my mother and her friend, and a high school buddy of mine. Many people have ceremonies for the show; having that one special day where you’re the center of attention. That was definitely not the case for us.

IT’S NOT THE SIZE THAT COUNTS

Because our ceremony was so small, and the point of getting married in a country where that union would not be honored in our homeland, many asked “Why get married at all?” For us, it wasn’t about making a political statement or participating in any form of activism. We were, and continue to be a couple that is very much in love and wanted to signify our love and relationship by making that kind of commitment.

THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION

It’s amazing how much media attention gay marriage has been receiving lately. Some may feel that it is a sign of progression, whereas some feel that there are more pressing issues at hand that we should be focusing on; such as the war, crime and unemployment rates, natural disasters, education, the environment, etc. In fact, I believe that not one issue should receive more attention over another. Unfortunately, our society does not behave as such. People are more prone to take a stance and become activists for movements that are affecting them directly; when in fact, all issues and political or societal issues affect us all.

IS “GAY” REALLY THE NEW “BLACK”?

Last year, the comparison between the black civil rights movement and gay rights were heavily investigated and received tons of national news coverage. There were groups of individuals who believed that the LGBT community was fighting the same fight that black people have been facing for a long time. On the other hand, there are those who believe that the treatment that gay people receive cannot be compared to those who are black simply because their sexual orientation is not as easily identifiable as one’s race.

Being a gay person of color, I’ve experienced both sexual-orientation and racial discrimination in all aspects of my life. However, I personally do not feel that one is greater than the other. With that being said, gay marriage may not be a big deal to some, but it is a big deal to many. It’s not about the color of one’s skin, who a person decides to share their bed with, or the sex of the person they wish to marry. It is about equality and receiving fair treatment. Should someone receive a promotion and a raise simply because of the color of their skin, despite their lack of ability, qualifications and performance? Luckily, there are laws in place to prevent such action. Should I not receive the joy and happiness of sharing my life with someone because we share the same anatomy?

GAY MARRIAGE IS REALLY NOT A BIG DEAL

Gay marriage in itself is not a big deal. What makes it a big deal is the fact that we continue to be a society that discriminates against anyone who is not a part of the majority or what society has deemed to be “normal”. I’m married and in love. I wear my ring with pride. Getting married in Canada was not a big deal, nor was it as difficult as many may think. The love between the two of us and every couple is what matters. My vote is for equality, all across the board.

Why does gay marriage matter or does not matter to you?

2 Moms Are Just As Good

I came across a very interesting article on a study that was conducted recently that focused on whether or not having two moms are as good as a mom and a dad. The researchers studied 81 families and focused exclusively on lesbian couples who were raising children. Their results concluded that on average, children of lesbian couples were no worse than those who were raised by a heterosexual couple. In fact, the lesbian couples interacted with their children a lot more, and were less likely to use physical discipline. In addition, their children turned out to be much more accepting of differences in others. I mean, a child who was born and/or raised in a household that is “different”, it makes sense for them to be a lot more accepting of others. Those who are close-minded are typically raised in a more close-minded environment where it is expected that everyone is the same; and if they’re different, then there must be something wrong.

BLACK GIRL IN A PRIVATE/CATHOLIC SCHOOL IN HISPANIC NEIGHBORHOOD

I recently had a discussion with my mother and I actually told her that I was thankful for the private education I received growing up that was in a neighborhood where the cultural norms were extremely different from my own. Being exposed to these cultural differences as it relates to how we communicate with one another and observing the importance of family that this culture embodied, has played a major role in my own acceptance of those who are different from me. As a result, I have many friends and acquaintances of all ages, sizes, races, sexualities, and backgrounds.  I value each and every one of those relationships as it has made me the well-rounded person that I am today.

Another argument that was addressed in this study was that children of gay couples would be the object of teasing and abuse from other children. In fact, this is an argument that my spouse has when I mentioned the idea of us becoming parents. The study showed that there was very little evidence of this kind of behavior from other children.

THESE KIDS MAY BE BETTER OFF

The article then goes on to state that the researchers felt that children who are raised by lesbians might be slightly better off because these two women are people who very actively wanted to become parents. This is by far the best part of the article simply because I tend to personally use that same argument when people question the parenting skills of homosexual couples. There are many children today who have been born into a family where either one or both parents did not want to accept their new responsibility. There are mothers who would either leave their child off on a relative to raise, allow society to raise and teach that child certain values, or a mother could easily give the child up for adoption. And then there’s fathers who not only are willing to accept their parenting responsibilities, but they fail to accept their financial responsibilities as well. In a homosexual relationship, a child would be raised by two individuals who actually want to be a part of that child’s life.

For some, this may be a touchy subject where religious and morale views may be questioned. But I must say, with the stories we see online and on television as it relates to broken homes and dead-beat parents, our vote is for whatever household that exudes unconditional love, despite the gender of the parents.

What are your thoughts? *Be open-minded and respectful!!!

Are you a LGBT parent? What has been your experience raising your children in our society?

Change Has Come To Detroit

Yes INDEED!!! Change has come to Detroit. I’m happy to announce that not only did Charles Pugh obtained a seat on the City Council, he also received the most votes which makes him City Council President. Now, some of you who reside outside of Michigan may wonder what is so special about Mr. Pugh for me to write about it and to reschedule some of my posts. Charles is an openly gay man, who made a lot of sacrifices to run for office. He had two successful jobs/careers as an anchor man for Fox 2 News Detroit, and a radio personality for FM98 WJLB. [Read more]