Looking Back…Going Forward

Since Thanksgiving, I’ve been looking back on this past year and have learned so much about myself and those I chose to be around. This year has been monumental for me in regards to the road of personal and professional development. I’ve successfully launched this website in June, my wife and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary of marriage (Canada), I turned 27 on the 27th of August, and I discovered the real reason as to why I have not been able to accomplish a goal that I’ve been making strong attempts to achieve for over a decade. I guess they were not strong enough until now.

If we find ourselves in the same predicament or situation that we’ve been in from the start after making “so called” steps to get out of it, sometimes the situation calls for us to stop, reflect, listen, and make the necessary improvements or adjustments that we’ve previously overlooked.  Since November, this is exactly what I’ve been doing. I know that some of my “friends” or people I’ve previously associated with may think that I’ve been ignoring them or failed to be more social, but there are times where we need to simply just take a break from everything to discover why no real progress has been made. We have to ask ourselves “What am I doing wrong?”.  A person can only complain so much, and an ear can only endure complaints for so long.

I grew tired of complaining to myself and to those who love me unconditionally. I grew tired of finding faults within myself without accepting myself for who I really am.  I grew tired of hearing others complain without mentioning any and all forms of possible solutions.  I at least come up with a dozen solutions for one problem; choosing the one that will work is the hard part. This is when we have to put ourselves in “time-out” and think what we are doing to ourselves mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually.

Looking back takes a lot more effort and strength than looking forward.  Think about it.  Looking forward requires you to open your eyes, something that our nerves do on its own, but we actually have to SEE what is right in front of us.  Looking back requires a mirror.  Something man-made and alters our view and perception of things.  What we see in a mirror is not what it really is.  Like a side view mirror on a car (objects may appear closer than they really are), which is used to determine how you should move forward. If a car is approaching your rear too fast, should you speed up by going FORWARD, or should you move over to the left or right onto another path.  All I’m saying is that your past does not determine your future. It’s simply a reference or reflection as to where you came from so that you can make a choice as to where you want to go. 

My past is simply my past. Going forward, 2009 calls for me to be a better me.  I can’t change who I am, how I speak, how I walk, my style of dress, the scars, the number of jobs I’ve held, the amount of people I call “friends”, my education level (more than a GED/H.S. Diploma), my laid-back/observing persona, being overweight, or the genitals of the person I chose to share my life with.  Going forward doesn’t mean that I’m going to relive my past; it means that I will be a better Patrice.

Going forward, what do you have in store for 2009?

Let’s….Be

 

Let’s walk for a minute. 

Clear our mind from the torture of society.

From the dangerous thoughts and conflicts of our fellow man…       

Let’s be. 

Let’s ensure our community is safe from unjust movements

From the tyrant hold of countless oppressors….

Let’s live. 

Let’s…

See what the world holds in store for the mighty

The strong

The charismatic…

Us…

Man; Woman; Gay or not;

Let’s build our community up

Not wasting time bringing it down

Keeping it in the pits as the majority would like it to be…

Let’s 

Be